How stupid can you be?

I thought I'd write a quick note on how stupid people can be. Now the fact that these examples are thoughtfully provided by nurses in no way means that I think nurses are stupid. I will perhaps provide them the excuse that they are over worked, under paid and working nights.

These are a couple of pages that have been received by myself and other doctors over the last few days:

1. (9.30pm) Pls review patient with tender lump below sturnum (breast bone for you non-medicos). Patient thinks lump may have been there yesterday also.

An innocent bystander who has never worked nights before might see this as completely reasonable. I ask though that if the lump had been there for probably two days, why does it need to be delt with at 9.30pm tonight? Is this urgent? Is it lifethreatening? NO. Then, on review of this patient, this lump turned out to be the xiphoid process. A part of the breast bone that EVERY SINGLE PERSON HAS! Something tells me then that this would have been there for maybe 60 years!!! And perhaps if it was no longer played with it wouldn't be tender?

2. Pls prescribe sleeping tablet for patient XY.

Again, this might seem a reasonable request but on seeing the patient, they were asleep!!!